After my realization about Tatum I had no idea what to do, I felt completely tongue tied. The last time I ever had a crush was, well, James. At least with him he liked me back and was gutsy enough to ask me out. Tatum just thought of me as a friend, and I know he told Libby I'm not his type. I was so embarrassed that in the middle of our meal together I told him I thought I left the oven on and ran away as fast as possible. What a terrible lie, I don't even have an oven.
Now he thinks I really hate him and he's way to oblivious to ever realize that's not the case (which I guess is a good thing).
He wants to go to the movie tonight... and as much as I am worried about how stupid I'll sound or look or whatever, I do just miss being friends and hanging out.
I put on a simple black dress and grabbed a coat in case it got cold at the movie. Last minute I switched my shoes to bright kitten wedges and put on a not so heavily rimmed pair of glasses.
I heard a knock on my door and my heart nearly flew out of my chest.
I pulled it open- probably to hastily- to see Capri standing outside.
"Hi!" she said in her cute voice, "I know we haven't talked all that much, but Tatum said we could all meet up to go to the movie". I stood for a second in silence, my heart falling.
"Um... he said it was okay with you, I hope I'm not intruding" she squeaked, starting to look worried. I felt bad, she didn't do anything to me. Besides her and Tatum would look cute together.
"No, it's fine, come inside" I replied, pushing the door for her.
We ended up at the kitchen table, sitting awkwardly, so I put on water to boil for tea, figuring that would help.
"So" I started, "you're from France.."
"Yes" she piped up, taking the chance to make conversation, "it's really nice! Are you from here"
"Nearby" I replied, "a small town"
"Me too" she laughed, "sometimes I would hate it because everyone knew everyone's business"
"I can relate"
And from there the conversation started to pick up a bit. She was very nice, I could definitely see her and Tatum being happy together. After some time talking, there was another knock at the door.
Finally Tatum had arrived, he seemed in a really good mood, probably because Capri was there. I wanted to just die inside, but I pushed those feelings down and tried to forget about them.
"Movie time ladies!" he said, pretending to be suave, "voulez-vous go to a movie avec moi?" he continued in a really bad accent, attempting to quote that American song (his french is just embarrassing). But Capri just thought it was so cute and she giggled. Ugh.
We ended up at the movie all sitting together, Tatum in the middle. They just kept chatting away and being so happy that finally I got fed up. I mumbled something incoherent to them and just upped and left. I figured I'd just go back to my dorm and sulk when I heard footsteps running behind me.
"Lillian, wait!" called Tatum, "what's gotten into you lately?" he said out of breath as he caught up.
"Nothing" I muttered to him.
"Lillian, you're my best friend, I know it's not nothing, you can tell me"
"Why don't you just go back and hang out with Capri" I snorted back
He stopped for a minute and studied my face, "you're not being replaced" he said looking concerned.
"Ugh, I know, whatever" I couldn't think of anything, I was trying to be mad but it was so hard with him. I took a breath, "that's not it"
I just wanted to kiss him, to tell him how I felt, but my voice was caught up in my throat. It was just too embarrassing. I took another breath and pulled myself together.
"I just am feeling really sick, I think I'm going to go lie down" I forced a smile and watched as he looked relieved, told me to feel better and ran back to the movie.